This is How The Universe Unravels

This tumblr account will probably be abandoned within the month

#Grease2 Live Tweet Archive

Okay so here is the entire live tweet archive of Grease 2.  Thanks to Katie Willert of Cracked.com fame for the suggestion. Not all of these are gold, but some are totally worth it.  If you haven’t had the joy of seeing Grease 2 yet, do it.  You are missing out on a fantastic piece of American awfulness.  Also all tweets have been preserved as they appeared so any spelling mistakes are unintentional and are most likely the product of me trying too hard to be fast at tweeting the movie and not worrying about spelling but being funny instead. ~ Bryce

In just 5 minutes we begin “Live Tweet the Movies” with Grease 2. Starring Catwoman and Rex Manning

Screw it. Here we go with Grease 2. Let the mockery start now.

Oh Blanche. We’re so much better than the Russians at this high school

Everyones a professional dancer. As always.

She’s late again. That fucking bitch cain’t lead shit.

Here comes The Fonz. No, just Johnny. And shooter mcgavin.

Oh sexism. I’m surprised the misic teachers hair didn’t just catch fire when she walke by the t-birds.

Oh frenchy. Don’t hit on Michael. He’s Pfiffers.

These white guys think they’re the Harlem globetrotters. Silly white kids.

Th pink ladies are kinda hot.

Rydell high. Home of smoking teens. And jeff conaway wannabes.

Paulette is such a slut. I’m in love.

Isn’t that the special kid from WarGames? It is!!! Love that guy.

Sacred turf. Its an old nerd burial ground and it’s haunted.

Blanche is a savant on the xylophone.

And that’s how frenchy got recruited to the CIA.

There is nothing better in this world than making out. When will they learn?

I think Michael could get in Stephanie’s pants if he sang “say no more (mon amour)”

It’s Kevin Bacon with third degree burns. Hasn’t he graduated since the last grease?

Tonight we bowl. I think that’s code for tonight we puss out of a fight.

It’s a young hanging around with the pink ladies. She’s so cute trying to fit in.

Wiping the floor with someone sounds incredibly dirty. Or is it just me?

The stakes are actually pretty low when you’re bowling. This song is ridiculous. No way Adrian Zmet can hit that high note.

I’m just waiting for the balls to fly off their hands while they’re spinning.

Paulette you fucking skank.

Rex manning wrote “say no more” about Stephanie.

You could always hook for a living Michael.

I think would have kicked all the T-Birds asses in this movie.

I think miss mason and mr Stuart are so going to end up in the janitors closet by the end of the school day.

I’m sure that Johnny has a great respect for grass. .

Don’t these girls know? Brad is with Janet.

Oh Stephanie. You’re so clever with your constitution joke.

Don’t go see the day after tomorrow. It was almost as grease 2. ?

Natalie puts out you say? Related to Paulette?

Rydell Highs drama department reminds me of the warehouse in Footloose.

I got a rep to protect dot tumblr dot com. It’s mine so don’t even think about it.

This song about sex is kinda gross. And plants are sluts. Like Paulette!

Reproduction is now the song I want to perform at karaoke.

Poking fun is what this whole song is about dude.

How’s my grease 2 tweeting going so far?

Michael is really awful at this motor cycling thing. Maybe he should become a pop star named Rex.

I don’t think Mr. Sandman is an original song.

It might help if you take the bike out on the road instead of the field with trees in it.

Freddy Kruger is outside and he’s by himself.

And here comes Michael kicking people on his bike. He can barely ride it. How did he do that?

Who’s that guy? It’s the Michael. Don’t you guys know how story structure works?

Stephanie just got totally wet for Michael. And if this were real life Paulette would be blowing him as soon as possible.

Badasses have zippos. It’s a fact of life.

All of a sudden Michael can do an American accent?

Have you ever read a superman comic? I am Superman. Just on a motorbike.

I trust president Kennedy.

Using nucleoid war to get laid is awesome.

I’d let stephanie wash my windows.

Michael I so dreamy with no shirt on under his leather jacket.

She’s means stick the horn in your ass.

Why hasn’t she just asked who he is? It’s also just goggles. I can tell it’s Rex manning.

Poor guy in the sidecar with no girl.

Going prowling now is illegal.

Adrian Zmet, you got it. That’s what you got.

It was just the beginning of school. Now they’re almost graduating? What the fuck?

You’re some kind of smart guy. I’m some kinda dummy who doesn’t see the incredibly sexy man with an accent.

Was the Jean Dujardin?

He’s not going to ride up on his motorcycle Stephanie. He’s inside having lunch.

Michael drawing hearts in the style of Russian nesting dolls made me laugh.

Seriously though, not since Lois Lane has there been someone so naive about who their lover boy is.

Ooooh. A car chase. Featuring mothers underwear. Awesome.

But who borrows their mothers underwear?

Michaels dead. Can I stop watching now?

Johnny is such a fucking dick.

Any body else think Lewis looks like Casey from Sports Night.

T-Boners is such the better name.

The production values on this number is pretty good for high school. Especially in 1961 

It’s like they knew that she was going have a breakdown and sing this new song.

Love the mountain of motorcycles with dead Michael on it.

I will always remember how awful this movie is. And how slutty Paulette is.

Stephanie is not a queen. RuPaul is a queen.

There was no indication of this luau until just now. Again, what the fuck?

Finally, mason and Stuart get together. That took too long.

Brett Runyan an his gang just showed up.

How the hell is Michael alive right now?

Jackets are now my highest form of validation.

Certainer is not a word. Certainest isn’t either. I thought he was English.

We’ll be together. Until Michael has to go back to Britain after graduation.

What’s everyone looking at? Disperse! So ends my live tweeting of Grease 2: Electric Boogaloo.

Okay that’s it.  I hope you all enjoyed reading these tweets.  There will be an archive exactly like this one (with different tweets of course) for the next movie in the series, which will be announced soon.